What do you do when you disappointed everybody?
When you destroyed every little thing you loved, and you don't know why. When everybody thinks you are bad. When everything ends up getting worse and worse. When nothing fits, and seems like everything is against you. When you find out you fucked up everything, and it's not the first time, and you know you will do it again. When you get what you deserve even though you feel like it's not your fault.. And you're lonely.
What do you do? Cause I'm broken, and lost, I don't know what to do.
You probably don't know, nobody is that dumb.
Alrubedo
Trust me when I say I've been that dumb, and I've some intelligence behind me. To err is human they say...yet being human is a painful experience within itself.
What do you do when you disappoint everyone? If life has taught me anything is that one needs to carry one with themselves, and use those emotions to carry onward. We'll disappoint people constantly if we reflect on our previous let downs, so why not learn from them and try to avoid them the next time? Know the signs, then prevent them--easier said than done though.
Why do we destroy the things we love? It's instinct; It's somewhat of a trigger thats hidden underneath the surface thats flipped by a fear of losing it...we destroy what's closest because them WE can put it back together, or be there while its repairing itself...It saves us the pain of watching what we love being destroyed by something else. It doesn't make it right by any means, but its something we do. It's a mecha of the human mind that is beyond me....but sometimes if we love something enough, we'll be there to nurture it, everytime.
Good and evil (or bad, eh) is a matter of perspective and opinion. Do you think you're bad? If not, then you're not. If others think you're bad, then think of their perspective on life and how things should be. It could merely be you didn't fall into their 'mold' on life, therefore you're 'bad', when you as a person don't believe so.
People are odd like that.
You're a great musician (listening to a collection of your songs atm, good stuff). When life gets worse and worse...challenge your craft to reflect those emotions, thoughts, and fears into music. Work tirelessly until you feel the mood beginning to shift and then transform that sorrow into hope (something I read in the description of one of your songs). The going gets better before it gets worse, and then back again...The stormiest of times DOES pass eventually.
My solution to things in my way? Remove them. Anything that hinders you without probable cause or justifiable reasons that are crucial to your health is only going to weigh you down. It's hard to remove them but it's not impossible...avoid them, confront them, do whatever it takes to nip it in the bud.
Again to the next part...to err is human, but we learn and can evolve. And did you, on a personal account, fucked up? Or did someone else tell you that whilst looking for a scapegoat for blame? If you think you did, then analyze the situation and take into account your actions; If they seems irrational to the situation that was supposedly 'fucked up', then you had little to naught to do with it. If someone blames you with probable evidance, then maybe. But often times they merely want to snuff out someone who had nothing to do with it.
I don't know you. But the fact that I'm sitting here telling this to a complete stranger on NGs must prove that you're not alone....Name's Samuel, btw. Nice to meet you. :)
What do you do? Live. Evolve. Move on. Smile, even if it's hard. Watch the world on a slow day and realise it's beauty. Take the smaller things for more worth than the biggest event you could face, becasue those smaller things truly equal up to alot in the end, while the value of big events grow to be less and less valuable over time.
I hope this helps...even in the slightest bit. I'm almost always on, so if you want to message back and us talk more, feel free. You're not alone, man.